Career Woman: Are You Marriage Material?

Career Woman: Are You Marriage Material?

I read a disturbing and of course, a very interesting debate of opinions. The man said that according to social scientists, career women and marriage does not mix well. On the other hand, a very outspoken lady replied with a spicy statement: “Studies aside, modern marriage is a two-way street. Men should own up to their responsibilities, too.”

I will not try to criticize the above mentioned point of view. Instead, I will lay down some facts that I’ve seen unfold in a very interesting place called Life.

If you were raised by a poor family, struggled your way through almost every aspect of your life: be it education and the finer things in life, and you’ve succeeded in making something worthy of your persona, it is easy to understand why you are driven by desire to succeed in the real world.

If you’ve seen your siblings sharing a piece of toast for breakfast, your Mom always thinking on where to get the money to pay the mortgage, it is understandable for you to weave your dreams of not experiencing the same. If you were a product of a broken family, it is expected that your goal is to make your marriage and family life work.

What I mean is, people should not judge the capability of a woman to keep a family base on having a career of his own or not. A career woman loves her children as much as a woman who stays at home loves her …

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Marriage Counseling Tip: Men's Thoughts Versus Women's Feelings

Marriage Counseling Tip: Men’s Thoughts Versus Women’s Feelings

Perhaps the single most difficult aspect of relationships is effective communication. When a woman asks a man how he feels about a contentious issue in their marriage, he frequently answers with what he thinks instead. The “I think”, versus the “I feel” conversation quickly becomes a circular argument with neither person successfully making his or her point.

Men are unaccustomed to talking about how they feel, so it’s not hard to understand why they revert to what they think instead. It’s become a comfortable default position for men, but unfortunately, not a position likely to lead to marital bliss.

The problem with this communication disconnect is that when women talk about how they’re feeling, they are expressing their emotions, their feelings. Those expressed feelings are a woman’s absolute truth. There’s no debate about feelings because they are a person’s deepest truth. A woman who expresses that she’s not feeling sexual isn’t saying she doesn’t want to have sex, she’s saying that something is missing in her heart at that moment that is preventing her from feeling sexual. She’s not necessarily accusing her partner of instilling those feelings in her, but unfortunately, that’s how men often understand it.

When a man counters that he doesn’t think they’re having sex often enough, he’s expressing his thoughts, not his feelings, and thoughts are always open to debate, opinion, and judgment. That’s when the argument becomes circular. It goes round and round, the woman expressing her feelings, and the man expressing his thoughts, until …

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